Fifteen Things
by theonewithjoeyandrachel
Summary: Fifteen things Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Ross, Joey and Chandler are not allowed to do.
1. Monica

**Fifteen things that I, Monica Geller, am not allowed to do:**

1. Clean in my sleep.

2. Cook tacos when Ross is around.

3. Eat Brown Bird cookies.

4. Tell Joey that Chandler loves me more than him.

5. Go to Joey's soap opera roof parties.

6. Tell Rachel that her and Ross were on a break.

7. Mention Richard around Chandler.

8. Make fun of Chandler for watching Miss Congeniality.

9. Arrange a bunch of pillows on mine and Chandler's bed and make Joey think I'm having an affair.

10. Touch Phoebe's guitar.

11. Tell Joey that he doesn't look like he could play a nineteen-year-old.

12. Tell the girls Ross dates that he used to dress up like a girl.

13. Touch my eye when Rachel is around.

14. Tell Joey I'm shirtless and laugh when he comes bursting into the apartment.

15. Tell the girls Joey dates about Hugsy.


	2. Rachel

**Fifteen things that I, Rachel Green, am not allowed to do:**

1. Keep dirty novels where Joey can find them.

2. Tell Chandler that Richard is the love of Monica's life.

3. Tell Chandler embarrassing stories from Monica's fat days.

4. Tell Joey that Chandler loves Monica more than him.

5. Go to Joey's soap opera roof parties.

6. Tell Ross that we were not on a break.

7. Call Judy and Jack Geller and tell them that Monica is pregnant; they will believe me.

8. Make fun of Chandler for watching Miss Congeniality.

9. Tell Joey that my boss wants to buy my baby.

10. Touch Phoebe's guitar.

11. Tell Joey that he doesn't look like he can play a nineteen-year-old.

12. Tell the girls Ross dates that he had to fill in for me as a bridesmaid at Monica's fake wedding when we were kids.

13. Tell Ross that I'm still in love with him and then laugh at him when he starts to cry.

14. Tell Joey that I think Naked Thursdays are a good idea; he will believe me.

15. Tell the girls Joey dates about Hugsy.


	3. Phoebe

**Fifteen things that I, Phoebe Buffay, am not allowed to do:**

1. Make jokes about Chandler being gay; even if it is true.

2. Massage people in Ross' apartment.

3. Offer Ross maple candy and then eat it all in front of him.

4. Tell Joey that Chandler loves Monica more than him.

5. Go to Joey's soap opera roof parties.

6. Tell Ross that him and Rachel were not on a break.

7. Send Rachel flowers and sign the card from Ross in an attempt to get them back together.

8. Make fun of Chandler for watching Miss Congeniality.

9. Bring tarantulas into Joey and Rachel's apartment; Joey will move out.

10. Steal Joey's Three Musketeers bars and tell him that he ate them all so I can have them for myself.

11. Tell Joey that he doesn't look like he can play a nineteen-year-old.

12. Tell the girls that Ross dates that he won't put out.

13. Touch my eye when Rachel is around.

14. Tell Chandler that Ross could kick his ass; he'll cry for the rest of the day.

15. Tell the girls that Joey dates about Hugsy.


	4. Ross

**Fifteen things that I, Ross Geller, am not allowed to do:**

1. Talk about dinosaurs when Joey is around.

2. Tell people that me and Rachel had sex 298 times; 299 if you count the time Emma was conceived.

3. Tell Chandler embarrassing stories from Monica's fat days.

4. Tell Joey that Chandler loves Monica more than him.

5. Go to Joey's soap opera parties.

6. Tell Rachel that we were on a break.

7. Call Mom and Dad and tell them that Monica is pregnant; they will believe me.

8. Make fun of Chandler for watching Miss Congeniality.

9. Eat maple candy.

10. Touch Phoebe's guitar.

11. Tell Joey that he doesn't look like he can play a nineteen-year-old.

12. Tell Chandler that Richard wants Monica back.

13. Touch my eye when Rachel is around.

14. Tell Phoebe that I could kick her ass; she'll prove me wrong.

15. Tell the girls Joey dates about Hugsy.


	5. Joey

**Fifteen things that I, Joey Tribbiani, am not allowed to do:**

1. Refer to the vein in Monica's head as a separate person.

2. Read Rachel's porn books.

3. Come up with ways to get Rachel and Ross back together; it is never going to happen.

4. Sleep with Monica and Chandler's social worker who will decide if they get a baby.

5. Let Rachel come to work with me; she will only embarrass me in front of my co-workers by flirting with them.

6. Tell Ross that him and Rachel were not on a break.

7. Tell Chandler that Monica wants to get a boob job.

8. Make fun of Chandler for watching Miss Congeniality.

9. Let Monica and Rachel manipulate me with Knicks tickets.

10. Touch Phoebe's guitar.

11. Wear all of Chandler's clothes when I'm not wearing underwear and then do lunges.

12. Tell Monica that her cooking is abysmal; it is an insult and she will cry for the rest of the day.

13. Touch my eye when Rachel is around.

14. Tell the guys that Rachel dates that she has porn.

15. Tell Chandler that Monica is keeping Richard in her secret closet; she never has and never will.


	6. Chandler

**Fifteen things that I, Chandler Bing, am not allowed to do:**

1. Tell Gunther that Rachel is in love with him; he will believe me and hit on her.

2. Believe Rachel when she tells me that Richard is the love of Monica's life; she loves me and only me.

3. Eat cheesecake from Mama's Little Bakery without Rachel.

4. Tell Joey that I love Monica more than him.

5. Go to Joey's soap opera roof parties.

6. Tell Rachel that her and Ross were on a break.

7. Tell the girls Ross dates about his leather pants.

8. Refer to Monica as Fred Sanford.

9. Tell Emma that she was an accident.

10. Touch Phoebe's guitar.

11. Tell Joey that he doesn't look like he could play a nineteen-year-old.

12. Make up words when I give Joey word-of-the-day toilet paper.

13. Touch my eye when Rachel is around.

14. Tell the girls Ross dates embarrassing stories from college.

15. Tell the girls Joey dates about Hugsy.


End file.
